I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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