Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
