someone threw a dead crab at me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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