He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
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Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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