oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm having to shit out rocks
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
