the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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