I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
