A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
