At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize