dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
