So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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