Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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