i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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