i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
