omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
