I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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