3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
