some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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