That's when you crack a 10am beer
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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