Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
