She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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