Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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