I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
