Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
