I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
