im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
