i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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