he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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