We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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