dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
