maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
