i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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