real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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