I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
