Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just cut my nipple shaving
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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