I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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