i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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