They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
