Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Two words: blizzard sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
