Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize