Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I want to make a zoo with you.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
