you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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