I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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