Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
