The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
