I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
