She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
