Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
