if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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