It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she looked like the before picture.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
