After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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