girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
