is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
