I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
