Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
