have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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