Fuck appropriateness.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
