I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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