Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
