Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
