I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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