well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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