She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
